Nuclear Family evil?
There we were, sat in an ethics seminar a couple of weeks ago, when one of my fellow students came out with, "The nuclear family is one of the greatest evils in society today". There was a stunned silence, but when we'd chance to think about it, we saw what he meant, and the concept kept coming up as we considered various ethical dilemmas.
There is a great emphasis on the individual and self sufficiency in western society today, and this has infected our ideas about family as well.
Married couples are led to believe that they should be each other's all-in-all, best friend and should be able to provide for all each other's needs. This leads to huge pressures being bought to bear on these relationships, which might actually be healthier (and more likely to survive) for a strong network of supporting friends, and the realisation that no one person is going to fulfil all the emotional needs of any other person.
Parents are led to believe that they should be able to bring up their kids on their own, and, because of the geographical dispersal of families, often don't have extended family to support them. Very often we also believe that we have the right to bring up our kids as we want to. We react very negatively if anyone dares to comment on our parenting. We have lost community norms in the raising of our children, a vicious circle that leads to increasing cynicism and lack of acceptance of authority.
When we were thinking through our reactions to various ethical case studies, a common reaction was that, whilst we knew we had to deal with the situation as presented, if we wanted to stop these type of situations occuring, one of the most important things would be to develop healthy communities.
It's all to easy to bemoan the break up of the marriage of the couple married in our church a couple of years ago, but unless we have been intentional about creating community around them, and supporting them in their marriage, we have failed.
It's easy to condemn a pregnant school girl, but unless we have developed a community in which she knows that she will be supported and loved in the raising of the the child, we have no right to comment on her decisions regarding the pregnancy. This is particularly true if the community has done nothing to counteract the cultural emphasises on sex as a leisure activity or as the only valid expression of romantic love.
Community and relationship is at the heart of our God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. But that three-in-one relationship is not a nuclear, inward looking one. It is a creative, outlooking, indrawing one. That is the type of community we need.
TimC
There is a great emphasis on the individual and self sufficiency in western society today, and this has infected our ideas about family as well.
Married couples are led to believe that they should be each other's all-in-all, best friend and should be able to provide for all each other's needs. This leads to huge pressures being bought to bear on these relationships, which might actually be healthier (and more likely to survive) for a strong network of supporting friends, and the realisation that no one person is going to fulfil all the emotional needs of any other person.
Parents are led to believe that they should be able to bring up their kids on their own, and, because of the geographical dispersal of families, often don't have extended family to support them. Very often we also believe that we have the right to bring up our kids as we want to. We react very negatively if anyone dares to comment on our parenting. We have lost community norms in the raising of our children, a vicious circle that leads to increasing cynicism and lack of acceptance of authority.
When we were thinking through our reactions to various ethical case studies, a common reaction was that, whilst we knew we had to deal with the situation as presented, if we wanted to stop these type of situations occuring, one of the most important things would be to develop healthy communities.
It's all to easy to bemoan the break up of the marriage of the couple married in our church a couple of years ago, but unless we have been intentional about creating community around them, and supporting them in their marriage, we have failed.
It's easy to condemn a pregnant school girl, but unless we have developed a community in which she knows that she will be supported and loved in the raising of the the child, we have no right to comment on her decisions regarding the pregnancy. This is particularly true if the community has done nothing to counteract the cultural emphasises on sex as a leisure activity or as the only valid expression of romantic love.
Community and relationship is at the heart of our God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. But that three-in-one relationship is not a nuclear, inward looking one. It is a creative, outlooking, indrawing one. That is the type of community we need.
TimC
posted by Carter Clan at 10:19 am
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